What is Music?

A week or so ago I wrote a blog that trigged some interesting responses. It was a rant, my own personal frustration let loose on ‘paper’ because I couldn’t see the point in continuing to argue about the subject out loud any longer. The basic premise of my rant was dealing with a certain band of guys, who because of certain connections to they have with a so called “boy band,” seems to deem them as unacceptable musicians to some of my guy friends. And I have actually noticed this trend elsewhere.

It seems to me that this bias towards this group (and others) seems to stem not from their musical standpoint but rather which artists in the industry they associate with. Because they seem to run in a circle of musicians whose target audience is tweens, my friends have deemed them unsuitable for my interest. From my standpoint, it seems obvious that their rejection of the music stems from the demographics of the fan-base and not on the quality of their music.

And this I believe is wrong. How can you base your opinion of a musical artist off of his or her fan base? Or worse, how can you judge them just because they happen to be signed to a label, which stems from the company run by a mouse? Why is this a factor in how you respond to them as musicians?

If we are taking the standpoint held by the second argument (the company argument) than maybe I should tell my guy friends to stop watching sports because ESPN is owned by this same company. Or stop watching some of their favorite TV shows because they happen to run on ABC and this same company also owns ABC.

They tell me to grow up and listen to ‘real music’ but what classifies as real music? If they would open their eyes (and ears) for one minute they would see that I don’t just listen to what they call “teeny-bopper” music. My music taste is actually quite eclectic, and I will listen to anything once. Although I do have to say that music with heavy cursing and the majority of rap turns me off. But anything else is usually ok.

I hope that someday they realize how closed-minded they are being. Sure, Jonas Brothers and Honor Society’s music may not be for everyone, but they need to stop judging them on appearance, or whom they are associated with. If they don't like their music, fine, I can accept that. But to dislike them because they are associated with the Jonas Brothers (who they dislike because they are "Disney") is ignorant and stupid.

While we are on the subject of music, I LOVE music. With a passion. Music speaks when words fail, and songs can sometimes tell a story in a way that nothing else can. When I listen to a song that tells a vivid story I begin to see it playing out in my head.

That’s what I believe music is all about. You have to allow it to speak to you. You can’t judge it on the artist or the genre. Just listen to it, let it fill you, and let it tell its story to you. Trust me, you wont’ regret it.

Hell Week is over.......

Another semester has come and gone, which means I have just endured a week commonly referred to in most college circles as "Hell Week". Basically this is the week in which all your major projects and such are do as well as the week leading up to exams. Depending on your situation this could also extend into exam week. I know that mine did. At my school the official "Exam period" began on Friday the 11th, however, my "Hell Week" began the weekend before that when it came to my attention that because of other projects and such, I had neglected to work on a film project for my Intro to Digital Filmmaking course. The film was due at the beginning of class the following Tuesday. Also due on Tuesday was a final mastered version of my song for my Digital Recording class which meant trying to fit in recording sessions in my school's recording studio as well as get my group together to film and edit our short film. Needless to say, that weekend was hell, but both projects ended up getting finished, albeit very near the wire.

My own personal hell was emphasized on Tuesday afternoon when I realized, during one of my other classes, that my final exam for Digital Recording was that night in class and I hadn't studied AT ALL!! This revelation was made about three or four hours before the exam. EEK!! Another revelation that hit me that day is that I hadn't spent anytime over the weekend working on my script for my playwriting course and the final draft (worth 70% of my mark) was due that Friday at noon. And then the real Hellish part; 3 projects (totally 80% of my mark) for my Film Studies class and my take home final for my Digital Filmmaking class were all due on Tuesday (today) at noon. In order to finish them all I would need to spread them out throughout the weekend. And on top of that I had an exam for my 400 level course (Media, Culture and Criticism at 2pm on Saturday) which I knew may actually be my hardest exam.

So here is what Hell week looked like to me:

Tuesday:

Short Film due at 11:40 (Digital Filmmaking)

Recording project due at 7 pm (Digital Recording)

Final Exam in Digital Recording

Wednesday:

Last day of classes.

Work on script

Thursday:

Work on script all day. (Began at 11:30 am, finished at 10 pm) I took a break for lunch around 1 pm, and a dinner break around 5:30.

Friday:

Script due at Noon.

Write take home final for film studies.

Study for COMM 411 exam

Saturday:

Get up at 10 to study for exam.

Studied until 1 pm.

Write exam.

Film short movie for Film Studies. (Film, edit and burn to DVD) Finished around 2 in the morning.

Sunday:

Work on Film journals for Film Studies. (end up with around 20 pages....I shocked myself)

Church

Monday:

Meet with Prof and show him finished film. (watch it here)

Work on take home exam for Digital Filmmaking for most of the day.

Take a break for friend's birthday dinner.

Come home and finish writing exam. Finished by 10:30.

BREATHE A SIGH OF RELIEF!!!

My friends were envious of the fact that all my exams were finished and it was only Tuesday. And seeing as how exam only begin on Friday at this point there had only been three days of exam so far, but what they didn't realize is that I had just as many exams as they did, but all of mine were lumped together. I couldn't take my time, stretch my studying out over several days because you have 2 days in between each exam. No. I had about 9 projects to do in a matter of a few days. And some of them were pretty extensive. Like the film that we managed to pull off in a few hours......that was a miracle.

As a third year, I have gone through 4 'hell weeks' before this one, but I have to say that this is the first one where I didn't know if I would actually make it through. My last exam that I wrote, I really had to force it. I just didn't know what to say. But now that it is over......SO GLAD!!!

And now that this semester is over, I only have three more to go. Let's hope I survive. :)

Mini Rant

Why do guys hate on the bands that girls like so much?? Seriously. It's like right now, I was listening to some Honor Society in my guy friend's room while we are waiting for the film we made for our filmmaking class to export to quicktime. He's like "Who are these guys? They sound kinda good." I was like "Honor Society." To which he answered, "Never heard of them." Then he sees the CD case sitting next to my laptop and looks it over. Then he states, "Oh. They are produced by the Jonas Brothers. That's why their sound is so generic and boy-bandish."

Why do guys always lump all these bands together under one banner? And why do they hate them so much. I refuse to believe that they just don't like their music. Because I know for a fact that some of my guy friends actually have 'pop' music that has a similar sound to JB and HS sound, but isn't sung by what is commonly known as "boy bands".

I think the real reason that guys don't like them isn't because of their music, unless they are jealous of their musical talent but rather that all the girls would rather fantasize about being with a Jonas Brother than to be with a guy they already know. I think they realize that if we are attracted to guys like that, that we aren't going to be attracted to them.

And it's not to say that my guy friends aren't date worthy or whatever, but I just don't see myself dating any of them. It's not that I'm holding out on the hope that I might someday be with Alexander, Jason, Michael, Andy, Nick, or Joe - Kevin's already off the market - but I'm just not attracted to any of my guy friends in that way.

My guy friend says that the Gent's look "gay". I was going to argue with him, but it's probably pointless, so I'm ranting here.

Time passes on.....

I can't believe that it is already December. Time passes by so quickly. I feel like summer was last week and school had just started, but instead I am ticking off the days until Finals will be over and I can fly to my parents for Christmas. And at the same time, I am freaking out about the amount of work I have to accomplish before hand. You think you plan out your schedule so you won't get behind on your work, and some how it still manages to sneak up on you later and you have to work your ass off at the end to finish it. It blows my mind.

And all the things that I want to do have to get pushed to the back burner until I finish the things I need to do. Like just now I finished a meeting with some group members on the film we have to do for our Film Studies course. We need to film it this weekend but I also have to finish filming my other film this weekend (seeing how it is due on Tuesday) plus fit in time at the recording studio to finish recording a version of Demi Lovato's "Catch Me" for my Digital Recording class. And because EVERYONE is trying to finish their projects the recording times are so random. I actually have the studio booked Monday morning from midnight to 2 am, just because there was no other available times. I feel like I am going to end up killing myself in the last two weeks of this semester. But if I manage to scrounge up some "B's" or "A's" in the process it will be worth it. (I'll even take the occasion "C". )

LORD I pray for strength and sanity.

Hiking Adventures

So my last blog included a ranting about how I believed I was going to fail my hiking class because I had accidentally slept in. However, after a nice chat with my prof he informed me that an extra hike would be added for those who had gotten H1N1. So luckily, although I didn't get sick, I would be allowed to attend that extra hike.

That extra hike was today, but Murphy's Law dictates that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.

No I didn't sleep in again, however, the hike did not go as planned. Here is our itinerary for today:

8:15 am – Depart from TWU

9 am – Exit HWY 1 onto Cypress Bowl Rd

9:10 am – The rain changes into snow (we start to worry about hiking conditions, but press on.)

9:20 am – The snow is falling very hard, and I am having difficulties driving up the mountain. I begin to spin out. I slow my speed down, but continue to slip on the road. I comment that now would be a good time to have bought those chains my uncle told me about. Also it was decided that perhaps Shawna should have driven her Jeep instead. I also think to myself that I wish my camera was not in my backpack in the trunk. We come to a stop and Shawna gets out to assess the road conditions. We are informed that the road is a sheet of ice.

9:25 am – We come to a group decision that it might be in the interest of safety to turn back around. Even if were to make it to the parking area (unlikely) we are worried about the possibility of being snowed in after our hike. And since our phones were jumping in and out of service, we were also considering the possibility that we wouldn’t be able to call for help if we needed it. We decide to drive back down the mountain and go to Grouse instead.

9:40 am – Arrive at Grouse Mountain

9:47 am – After paying for parking, we walk to the Guest Service building to ask for trail information. We are informed that all the trails are closed. Epic Fail. : (

We document our sadness in picture form.

9:50 am – Disappointed that we cannot complete our hike for the day we decide to go to the nearest Starbucks to get something warm to drink. We are in luck as there is one directly next door.

9:57 am – Receive and drink our Starbucks.

10:05 am – Leave Grouse Mtn.

11:06 am – Arrive back at TWU

I wonder what my prof will say now. I mean we attempted to do our fourth hike, but we didn't have any luck. I assume he will make us try again. Probably in a vehicle with four wheel drive.

Distractions...

have you ever had that feeling where you know that you have something you were supposed to do, or somewhere to be but you can't remember what that this is? that is basically the way i have felt since i woke up yesterday. and at first i had a good reason to feel that way.

you see, i am in a hiking course and in this course we don't have 'class'. the prof doesn't lecture about hiking safety or anything like that (although he did give us some pointers in the one lecture class we had at the beginning of the semester). however, the way this class works is that the prof has set aside six saturdays throughout the semester and we are supposed to pick four of them that work for us and go on those four hikes.

well, i went on the first one and then for various reasons i wasn't able to go on the last two, so that left me with yesterday and the next two following saturdays. however, yesterday my alarm clock decided to be a bitch and didn't go off. so instead i woke up at 8:30 pretty much in a panic because my alarm hadn't gone off.

and let me clarify another thing for you. the bus leaves at 8 am NO EXCEPTIONS!!! so i had missed the bus. now you're probably thinking what's the big deal. just talk to the prof and tell him that your alarm didn't go off. and just let me say that i probably will do that, however, i am not seeing it going well. because you see, if you don't go on four hikes you fail the class. so if you are adding it up correctly in your head there are only two hikes left, and i have only gone on one. do you see my dilemma?

and this really sucks because now i am going to fail the course, which is going to cause my gpa to drop and could possibly ruin the chances that i am going to graduate on time because in order to get the 'f' off my transcript i will have to repeat the course. FML

so because of this one incident i have felt 'off' ever since. i can't place my finger on any other reason. it has left me frazzled and almost sick to my stomach. i have had very little appetite since yesterday and i can't shake this lethargy that i seem to have right now.

i keep trying to do homework, and i have succeeded in little doses at a time, but i just can't seem to get into a studying groove. i can work for about an hour and then i have to do something else. i can't even procrastinate properly. everything is boring to me. i just don't know what to do.

i could take a walk in the back 40, but it's dark so i would have to see if someone in my dorm has a flashlight so i wouldn't get lost. also, i would love if my parents would skype me. maybe talking with them could ease some of this anxiety/boredom or whatever it is that is causing me to feel like this.

i feel like i am stuck inside a day dream or something. everything seems to be happening in slow motion. i mean it is only 7 yet i feel like it should be 10. i am seriously running out of ideas of what to do with myself. i have already watched a movie today, and worked on two assignments that are coming up. and typing this all out isn't really helping. it is just making me feel more pathetic.

i am seriously so distracted. even concentrating on writing this blog is hard. my mind just keeps wandering to other things. and they aren't even important things. right now i am debating crawling down from my perch on the top bunk to get something to drink because i am thirsty, yet i don't want to get down just to get right back up again.

seriously, i think i need some help. this funk i am in is getting out of hand. next i won't want to get down to use the bathroom and then i will be in some serious trouble.

Sunday Night Reflections

went to youth church tonight. no, it isn't youth group. it is a church service that is aimed at reaching young people for Christ. we are the most powerful generation to reach in this day and age. and youth church is trying to reach us. the majority of people who attend youth church are between the ages of 16 and 25. it is amazing. the worship music makes me feel like i am at a tfk (thousand foot krutch) concert or something of that nature. and the message always makes me think. tonight was no exception.

we were studying from luke 15 tonight. the chapter is three parables that all teach the same lesson. it is the parable of the lost sheep. [a shepherd has 100 sheep and he loses one. he leaves the 99 in the open country (in peril of wolves) to find the one he has lost]. the second parable is that of the lost coin. [a woman has 10 coins and she loses one. she turns her house upside down looking for it] and the last parable is that of the prodigal son. [a father has two sons. one son demands his inheritance and then takes off. squandering his money on gambling and prostitutes. when he gets to the point of starvation he returns home, only to find his father waiting for him, with open arms, all debts forgiven]. all three of these parables, according to the speaker, are about how God looks at the lost. the people who have yet to turn to him. if everyone in the world believed in Jesus and ONE person still didn't know who he was, or was a follower, he would scour the entire earth for this person just to bring them back to Him.

He would do the same for you or me. if we were to stray from him, he would pursue us. night and day, until we returned to Him. each of these stories also ended in a celebration, celebrating the fact that the thing, or person that was lost was returned to its rightful place. the speaker said that when we finally turn to God after straying from Him there is much rejoicing in heaven. because there is more to celebrate when a sinner turns to Him than those of us who are already in His presence.

i really liked this message because it reminded me that i shouldn't take my salvation for granted. in the story of the prodigal son, the son who remained loyal to his father and did not squander his inheritance was jealous of the fact that his father threw a huge celebration for the other brother upon his return. he told his father that he had remained loyal, yet his father had never thrown him a celebration. yet the father explained that because he had stayed faithful everything that the father owned belonged to him, yet they should still celebrate the other brothers return because he had been 'dead' and was 'alive'. in the same way, those of us who are faithful in our faith are equal inheritors of Christ's kingdom, yet we should still rejoice when 'sinners' come to faith. for these people were dead in their sins and now they are alive.

another reason that this message was particularly powerful was the imagery that God is relentlessly pursuing those who are 'lost'. like the woman in the lost coin parable, Jesus will turn lives and circumstances upside down if it will mean that someone will come to know him. and like the father in the prodigal son parable, he is waiting with open arms for you. as soon as you make the decision to return to him (or follow him for the first time), as soon as you take that first step, he will see you and begin running towards you ready to receive you into his arms.

another thing we talked about was that we who are already followers of Christ need to help in this pursuit. we should be seeing those who are lost and trying to help them find a relationship with the God who created them. because he wants all those who are lost to be found and join in his kingdom, and he will not stop his pursuit until they are all found.

it was definitely something for me to think about. if you look at luke 15 in my Bible i now have much of the passage underlined and notes in the margin. so now every time i look at this passage i can remember this message.

another thing from tonight that stuck with me was some of the songs that we sang. i will list a couple.

take it all --- hillsong united

mighty to save --- hillsong united

and then they sang remain by starfield. it was the first time i had heard it, but it struck a chord in me. the gist of the song is that no matter what happens, whatever troubles or tribulations come my way, Jesus's love remains the same. He will never change. He will always be faithful.

here are the lyrics:

Defender of this heart
You loved me from the start
You never change

Through the highs and lows
As seasons come and go
You never fail

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good

[Chorus:]
You are God with us
You're victorious
You are strong and mighty to save
For Your word stands true
There is none like You
And when all else fades
You remain

When troubles come my way
You guide and You sustain
Lead me, I pray

Forever You will be
The great eternal King
Now and always

Day after day
Your love will remain
Faithful and true
You are good, you are good

[Chorus]

When all else fades
You remain

[Chorus 3x]

You remain

Cause' day after day
You never change
Day after day
You are the same
Day after day
You remain

He will always be waiting for you, looking for you to come to Him. He isn't going to give up. so why don't you run to him. show Him that you have heard his voice. enter his arms of love.

it feels so good when you do.

Being a Light to the World

So the new school year started today. As a Junior in university you would think that I would be used to the start of the school year. But somehow it snuck up on me this year. As I crawled into bed last night I was suddenly hit with realization that classes would begin the next day. I have been back on campus for two weeks, but it wasn't until that moment that I realized that I wouldn't be getting up the next morning and going off to Orientation activites designed to welcome the 1st years to our campus. Nope, I would be going to sit in a classroom for a few hours and listen to my profs talk about what to expect out of various courses.

Now, don't get me wrong, I am looking forward to my classes. It's just that I have been so busy the last two weeks with training for O-Week and then running around during O-Week as part of the Student Orientation Staff (SOS) that I didn't buy books, or school supplies, or any of the other things that I usually do to get back into 'school mode.' So as I went to class today, I didn't feel prepared at all. Not that I really needed to be because all we did was discuss the syallabi. But still you can see part of my frustration.

I feel like I could have used a few more days to get myself more mentally prepared.

Another thing, I go to a Christian university. Every year our school as a theme verse. Something that reflects what goal the univeristy is aiming towards. This year it is 2 Corinthians 3:18. I'm not going to quote the whole verse but the gist of it is that we are to renew our minds and become more Christ-like. To let our light shine if you will.

The music director even wrote a song to express this theme. As the worship team played it this morning at chapel the words struck a chord with me. The song talks about how we need to be more like Christ and allow our light to shine. The world around us wants to shut us out, to quench our light, but in spite of this we need to shine all the brighter. Even though people all around the world come into the Christian faith everyday our voice seems to be getting quieter and quieter. We need to stop this from happening. We need to open ourselves up for what God has planned for us to do and in doing so He will shine his light out through us. People will look upon us and will KNOW who we belong to. His light will shine so bright that NO ONE will be able to put it out. As this new year starts I am trying to wrap my head around how I can allow God to work in my life, and how I can allow his light to shine through me. I mean, we are starting a new decade soon. How will the world remember our generation 40 years down the road? Think about the weight that we carry on our shoulders. All the more reason for us to focus on being the light bearers.......

Let There Be Light (Tim McCarthy)

With the God of the present age blinding our eyes

And our flesh, in futility, binding our lives,

With the shroud of the grave like a blanket that darkened our land,

In the fullness of time, You had purposed to come

As the Light of the World, though rejected by some,

The Word became flesh in our streets, fully God, fully Man...

And said,

"Let there be light! Let there be Glory!

Let there be death to Death, and Life to fill all life!

Look on my face, and mirror my majesty,

Be all that you can be in ME, let there be light!"

With the forces of evil all rallied against You,

You bowed to the shame, though none spoke Your defense

Obedient to death on a cross, where the vict'ry was won;

Then the shadows all shuddered, the stone was removed

And the threats of the Grave were completely reproved,

For You are a Light that its darkness cannot overcome!

You said

"Let there be light! Let there be Glory!

Let there be death to Death, and Life to fill all life!

Look on my face, and mirror my majesty,

Be all that you can be in ME, let there be light!"

Now we look to You, Jesus, with hearts open wide,

In the light of Your presence transformed.

So from glory to glory, Your Spirit our guide,

May Your Image in us be restored!

"Let there be light! Let there be Glory!

Let there be death to Death, and Life to fill all life!

We on Your face, and mirror Your majesty,

To be all that we can be in YOU, let there be light!"

Why I Hate Airports and the TSA

Okay so I really don't like to fly. Not that I am scared of flying or anything, I just hate all the stess that goes along with flying. All the security measures that have been added post 9/11 and especially all the waiting around that typically happens. But I understand that it is the fastest way to travel, particulary for me because my parents live in Alabama and I go to University in BC. (That's British Columbia, Canada for those who don't know.) But today's experience has lead me to develop an new found hatred for airline travel.

Today I had a flight for 6:30 AM out of Hunstville Alabama. Now before I continue with this story, let me explain something about the Hunstville airport. It only has one terminal and 12 gates. It is SMALL!!!! Another thing I should mention is that I live 10 minutes from the airport. With such a small airport my mom decided to drop me off only 45 minutes before my flight so I wouldn't have to sit around for too long. So we leave the house between 5:30 and 5:45, however when we got to the airport there was some construction going on in the parking garage so it took us 5-10 minutes to find a place to park. By the time we got inside it was about 5:50. Apparently this is also the cut-off time to check in. When I went to check in they told me I wasn't allowed because TSA regulations state that they need x amount of time to screen the checked baggage and therefore I wouldn't be able to check my bags for my flight and therefore I wouldn't make my flight.

This is how the conversation went.

Delta Lady (DL): What flight are you on today.

Me: The 6:30 to Memphis

DL: I'm sorry. You're too late for that flight, you'll have to book a new flight.

Me: Excuse me?

DL: They have already taken the baggage to the plane. You missed the cut off time.

Me: What was the cutoff time?

DL: 5:50.

Me: And what time is it now?

DL: 5:51.

Me: One minute? I'm one minute late and I can't get on my flight?

DL: I'm sorry ma'am.

Me: The plane doesn't take off for 40 more minutes.

DL: I know, but they have to have so much time to screen the luggage for security reasons.

Me (internally): FML

So 45 minutes later I leave with new tickets for a 10:10 flight to Atlanta and then a 3:00 flight to Seattle. So instead of arriving in Seattle at noon, I will now be arriving in Seattle at 5:30. In the middle of rush hour. On the night of a Mariners home game. Seriously. FML.

The second reason I hate flying on this particular day is because on the first leg of my trip I had a young boy behind me who found it pertinent to kick the back of my seat during the entire 40 minute flight. I seriously wanted to whip around and smack him upside the head. Something tells me his parents wouldn't have had approved.

The third reason I hate flying is layovers. It is now 2 pm EST. I have been in this airport since noon. My flight doesn't leave until 2:55. Luckily I don't have much longer to sit here, but still. This is why I hate flying. I had to pay $8 to get on the internet. It's not totally worth it, but at least I was able to get on and type up this blog. Ranting on here means I probably won't blow up at anyone later on. Although I would like to give the stupid TSA people a piece of my mind.

While wating to re-drop me off at the airport for my 10:10 flight my mom and I went to waffle house. We discussed how if I was someone important, they probably wouldv'e have put me on my first flight. I mean seriously, I was ONE MINUTE late. And everyone out there knows that as you are boarding the plane that's when they are putting the luggage on. So why, when the plane hadn't begun boarding yet was I not allowed through. What's two extra bags anyway??

Well, my flight is going to begin boarding soon so I better log off and pack my laptop back up.

Thanks for letting me rant.

A Letter to My Daughter. From Your Heavenly Father.

My dad sent me this in an email.

I know there are a lot of single girls out there (I am one of them) that are just wishing and hoping for a boyfriend. This 'letter' from God really hit me hard.

Jumping around from boyfriend to boyfriend isn't going to help you find your husband any faster, and essentially wasting your time with other guys could be damaging to your spirit. We are designed to be with one other person. I am personally of the opinion that we should be dating with the intent of marriage. If you are with a person, but can't see yourself being with them forever why are you with them? You shouldn't be in a relationship for just the sake of being in a relationship. (That is ultimately why my last relationship ended. I just couldn't see myself with him in the long run.) And yes, it hurt at first, but now almost a year later I can honestly say that I am perfectly happy with being single. Sure, having a boyfriend would be nice, but if he isn't the man that God wants me to be with, why should I waste my time? I really don't know if anyone will read this, but I have this feeling that this message needs to get put out there. Hopefully someone will stumble across this and be reminded that God doesn't work on our time. He works on his time, and therefore we need to be patient. Everything will become clear in time.

Here is the Letter:

A Letter to My (Single) Daughter (from God)

My Daughter,

You are right where you are supposed to be. So many people have theories and insights on how couples are to come together and the truth is that many miss it by interpreting what they want rather than what I choose. A man pursuing...a girl refusing, these are not necessarily the optimal conditions for mate selection. Adam did not “pursue” the Woman, nor did she spend her time creating ways to make it challenging for him to do so. Just like one’s purpose or date of birth and death, it is I who determines the “who, when, and where” of authentic and spirit-led matrimony and intimacy. It is the responsibility of both parties to follow as I, and I only lead.

You are not waiting on some man to “get his act together” or “see you for who you really are”, and no matter how it may appear to you in the physical realm, in the spiritual sense, “he” is right on schedule; my schedule. You are not to be listening to what man says, no matter what form the voice may reveal itself (media, tradition, statistics, naysayers, etc.). Remember, I decided when it was time for Adam to receive the miracle of female assistance and so if you have an issue with physical time, don’t take that up with anyone other than me; even then, know that I have your best interest at heart. Far too many of my daughters are consuming themselves with fear and anxiety about things that are really none of their concern. My ways are not your ways and until I unite you with the one you are purposed to benefit, his whereabouts and activities are not to be a priority to you. If you have not been joined to him yet, it’s simply because it’s not the right moment. He is not ready and neither are you. There are finishing touches that must be placed on you both and no matter how you may feel or what you might think, I am a God of order. I will not be pressured to move outside of my plan.

I know it must be hard. Flesh never likes to submit to my will. But please let me continue to mold you. Before you ever existed, you were hand-selected for someone and that has not changed. As the Creator, I am excited about my handiwork. Don’t go looking for answers to questions you are not able to conceptualize or present in a way that will intimidate me to react or respond. As I did with your parents, let me have the pleasure of presenting you as a gift to your mate. Ask your mother and father if they will ever forget the first time they saw your face. I want “him” to experience a similar thrill. If you want to channel out your energies, get excited about how excited I am about you; about how blessed I know he will be to have you!

Again, don’t concern yourself about the time. I am timeless. Concern yourself instead with remaining in my hands so that I can perfect you to be all that he needs--- so that when it’s the right moment, there will be no fear, no hesitation, no question that you are indeed the one that he is meant to live out the rest of his days on the earth with. Far too many women are not praised on their wedding day by their husbands in the way I would’ve liked because they did not allow me the opportunity to complete them to be what was required, and the man was not discerning enough to know the true purpose that his companion was meant to serve in his life.

I want more for you. Love me enough to let me give it to you. Just as you are to be a blessing to him, he is to be provider and protector for you; he is to bless you as well in ways even your prayers have yet to articulate, but in my infinite wisdom, I know you deserve.

Remember, above all else that, like faith, marriage is a spiritual union. This is the time to remove yourself from your senses, from what the physical is telling you and tap into your spirit. This is when you can please me most by standing and believing that I am true to my Word...even when you don’t see, feel or hear evidence of its manifestation. The Spirit always moves at what you all call “light years” ahead of the flesh. It takes it some time to catch up. (Hebrews 11:6) Be patient. (I Corinthians 13:4)

Stay in my will and I will show you the way---a way that leads to love, bliss and happiness. A place where you will feel naked and not ashamed…until death parts you. A place where your future husband will restfully await you.

I love you. Be still and know. Really know. I do.

Your Heavenly Father
©Shellie R. Warren/2008

I hope this finds someone and blesses them the way it has blessed me.

Restaurant Etiqutte

This summer I have been working at Cracker Barrel as a hostess in order to save up money for this coming school year. This way I won't have to call my mom asking her to put money into my checking account so I can buy cereal. This wasn't such a big issue the last two years since I had a food card and ate at the cafeteria. But now I will be living in a suite and will have to cook for myself. So having spending money is in much higher demand. Anyway, since I have been a hostess, I have learned some things about restaurant goers and some of the rude things they do.

Okay first off let me say a few things. Yes, those of use who work at the restaurant are there to make sure you have the best dining experience we can. However, we are not your servants. We shouldn't have to bend to your every whim. We will do everything we possibly can to serve you...within reason. Most of the things I am going to share with you are experiences that have happened to me as a hostess.

Let me first explain certain things about my job. At my work we have two dining rooms. During peak hours these dining rooms are seperated into roughly 6 sections a piece. (Some days there are more.) This works out to an average of 3 tables per server. Now my job is to seat people in the restaurant as quickly as possible, while maintaining a consistent rotation. (Meaning I give the servers equal number of tables.) Sometimes this isn't possible. I.e. large parties or special requests.

Now recently the management has been on me (and the other hostesses) to rotate consistently. Apparently some of the servers were complaining that certain servers were getting more tables and believed that the hostesses were playing favorites.

However what they dont' realize is that guests are very opinionated and make my job very difficult.

Here are some examples:

1. When I say 'follow me' I have a table in mind. Please don't point out while we are half way to our destination that you would rather have window seat (or whatever other request you are going to make.) There is a reason I wasn't going to seat you at those other tables. I.e. the place you have in mind would cause me to double seat a server.

2. If I ask you to wait because the table at which I am going to seat you is being bussed, please don't stand impatiently behind the busser, breathing down his/her neck. I asked you to wait out of the way for a reason. He/she will be able to properly clean your table if you give them a moment to do so.

3. Count EVERYONE in your group. Don't tell me you have a party of four, if you also have a baby. That equals 5. I need to find you a table at which a highchair can be placed at the end. Not something in the middle of the dining room, which is where I was planning to put you.

4. If you have party bigger than 8 it will take longer than 5 minutes to put something together for you. So please don't come it at peak dinner hours and expect that I will have something for 12+ available. (and because you won't split into two tables of 6, you are making it even more difficult.)

5. Why do you HAVE to sit at the window??? All of those tables are dirty and while I can grab a rag and clean it for you, this is not in my job description. My job is to sit you, not clear the dishes off the table and wipe it off because you simply won't accept a seat anywhere else. (If I can point something out. Our restaurant does not offer a view. The only thing to see out the window is people sitting in the rocking chairs playing checkers, the parking lot and the freeway off ramp. Why does this have such a big appeal???)

There are probably more things, but these are some of the things I can think of right now. Can you tell I just got off work??

Some people just don't know proper etiqutte when it comes to eating out. Can't you just let me do my job? Why do you have to offer your opinion. You will get the same service no matter where you sit (if all the servers are doing their job properly.) Why do you have to sit somewhere specific.

Really if the servers were smart, they would fight over who got the the coveted 4 front dining tables. Those are barely ever empty for long, because like I said before, there is some special appeal to sit at the back of the front dining room (farthest from the entrance and the kitchen) so they can look out at the parking lot. I don't get it.

Anyway. I'm tired.

Four day weekend!! Yes. Hitting up the beach. Need to even up my tan before I have to go back to school.

Kids say the darndest things

I have a two year old niece and lately she has been saying the darndest things. She watches a lot of movies mostly because they help her fall asleep. Her favorites are 101 Dalmations, The Lion King and Mighty Joe Young. Her titles for them are "Dog, dog movie", "Lion movie" and "Joe movie." I can't even tell you how many times she has watched these movies but it has come to my attention that maybe she has watched them too much because she has been quoting them. Now, I don't think that she knows for sure that she is quoting them. She just happens to be in that stage where she hears things and repeats them back later. (Which is actually kinda bad because she has picked up some phrases that we don't like her saying. Like telling everyone to "shut up" when they are doing something that she doesn't like. I also think she might have said the f word the other day, but I couldn't be sure since it was said in a mumble.)

I really want to catch some of these on video. The cutest ones are when she says "tastes like chicken" whenever she eats something. Which of course is from the Lion King scene where Timon and Pumbaa are trying to get Simba to eat grubs for the first time. And the other is jumping in front of you screeching "you found me." Which is from Mighty Joe Young. If you don't know the movie, Joe is a giant gorialla who likes to play hide and go seek and when he finds someone, they jump out of the bushes and yell "you found me."

Another thing she has picked up recently may in a sense be my fault. Recently she has started to realize that my younger sister and I listen to the Jonas Brothers. It has gotten to the point that when the song "Fly with Me" comes on my niece recognizes that this song is the 'Jonna Brudders'. This I find endearing. However my sister and brother-in-law find it annoying. My niece also has the habit of liking to call people. We have given her an old cell phone that doesn't work so that she can make all the 'phone calls' she wants. Lately, when we ask her who she is talking to on the phone, instead of the normal people such as grandma (Ama), grandpa (Papa) or her parents she has been 'calling' the 'Jonna Brudder'. the other day she actually picked up my cell and asks me "Call Jonna??" I actually laughed at this, because I hadn't even coerced her into this.

My sister says that with the whole Jonas thing that I 'brainwashed' her because I used to tell her everytime a JB song came on that it was them and that is why she recognizes certain songs. But then explain to me how (even though my sister and I have no posters of them on our wall) how she managed to realize that the poster of them at Burger King's drive thru was them. Seriously we pull up to the drive thru and there was an advertisement for the JB world tour sponsered by BK apple fries. And I turned to my mom and said while laughing, "Mom, look." And she turned and said, "How funny. Even in the drive thru I'm surrounded." I rolled my eyes, because she isn't surrounded by pictures or posters of them, only their music. And only on occasion. Then my niece from her car seat says, while pointing at the sign. "Jonna Brudder." My mom and I share shocked glances before bursting out laughing.

Seriously, she says the darndest things.

One more short story before I peace out.

Today we took her to the mall while her parents were at work. While we were leaving the mall and walking towards the car she asks, "Jonna Brudder in car?" Which in two year old talk means "Can we listen to Jonas Brothers in the car?" This is the first time she has requested to listen to their music. Usually she only wants to listen to the Lion King soundtrack. (The Broadway Version.) Trust me, as soon as she hears that opening of Circle of Life, she knows what's playing. It's like "Na Swavena..." "Lion King." Yeah, she's that smart.

Anyway, just wanted to share some tidbits. That girl says the darndest things.

Wake up call, thy name is cat.

At about 5:30 this morning my cats (or in actuality it was only one of my cats) decided that it needed to be in my room and proceeded to meow and scratch at my door. I was not in a mood to get up out of my cozy and warm bed to open said door so I decided to ignore him. However, after several minutes of him scratching at the door he began to scratch at the carpet, as if burrowing under the door was a plausible option. Since there is already a sizable hole in my carpet (which my mother is not pleased about) I decided I had to let him in before he caused more damage. Now I thought that he just wanted to be in my room and that he would curl up at the end of my bed and I would be allowed to return to my peaceful slumber. Obviously my cat had other ideas in mind. He jumped all over my bed trying to find a comfortable spot and then when he had located one, he only stayed there for a few brief moments before he was up prancing around again. Then he jumped up onto my headboard, then leaped to my dresser knocking items over in the process, then he finished the circuit by returning to the bed landing on my back. After doing this two more times I picked him up and tossed him off the bed. (Softly of course......) He stayed off the bed, but then he spent a few minutes trying to get the closet door to open. What he wanted in my closet I don't know. By this time it is nearing 6 and I have yet to fall back asleep. I try unsuccessfully for another half hour or so before I finally gave up and turned to my computer. I don't have to be up until 9:30, so I still have two hours in which to fill. Hence this early morning blog.

I kicked the cat out of my room 45 minutes ago and he is once again outside my door meowing in his 'pleading' meow. I don't know if I should let him in a second time. He is a bit of a terror this morning. And I would bet that he really just wants me to get up and feed him, or maybe clean his litter box and I wish to do neither of those things this early. Although at the same time, his meow is such an annoying sound I may just let him in to get him to stop. It's a dilemma really.