Unpopular Opinion Time

I used to be one of those people who completely steered clear of controversial topics. Anything that could potentially cause arguments, I avoided like the plaque. However, as I have grown up (especially over the past four years I have been in University) and have discovered who I am and what I believe on a deeper scale, I have found that it is nearly impossible to avoid conflict sometimes. Sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe is right, even if causes people to go against you. So saying all that, I am warning you that what I have to say may be an unpopular opinion. I may have people completely disagree with me, but I have to express my opinion. I can't sit idly by and watch as people spew hateful words at others while claiming that they are following 'Christ'.

First of all, I am a Christian. And as a believer in Christ I can't watch as others who claim to love Him and follow His ways take His Word and complete turn it around. I can't stand some of the people in my own country who are denying the rights of thousands of people because their views on life (or whom they choose to love) are different than theres. I can't help but think about the long years that we denied rights to black people just because of the color of their skin. Now we are denying people basic human rights because of their sexual orientation and it absolutely sickens me. How can you look at these people and say that just because they choose a lifestyle that you wouldn't choose for yourself that they are less than you. That they don't deserve to live their life just as fully and freely as you because of who they choose to love.

Some do this in God's name and say that God is against homosexuality and therefore we need to follow his example and try to rid the world of gays. Do you know who you sound like when you do that? To me you sound like Hitler. Are we going to round up all the gays and send them away to death camps like the Nazi's did to the Jews? How can you say that God hates gays? God doesn't hate anyone. God LOVES us all. No matter our age, sex, race, religion, or sexual orientation. He loves us all because he created us in his image. ALL of us. God doesn't make mistakes, so the fact that someone is gay must mean that God wanted them that way. We, as his mere creations cannot even begin to fathom how his mind works, so who are we to say what he would do.

People will probably try to quote the verse in Leviticus that says that man should not lie with a man like with a woman. That this verse shows us that homosexuality is wrong and should be punished. But if you read the verses that surround that one, there are also versus on how we should kill any man who commits adultery, or gets divorced, or gets a tattoo... Are we supposed to follow all of these... Do we follow all of these... Of course not.

I believe that the whole Bible is the Word of God, and I am not denying that following it is important. But I also know that many of the verses in the Old Testament (especially the laws) were changed later. At the time they were given, they were meant to be followed but as time went on some of these laws were dropped or changed in the Jewish custom. Because that's what the OT laws are, they are the laws of the Jewish people. Well, I am not a Jew so tend to believe that those OT laws are meant to be taken only in the context that they were written in, we are not meant to take them and try to apply them to a time and circumstance for which they were not written. I also believe that when Christ came a new set of laws were given. Christ came to seek and save the lost as well as bring about His new covenant, new law. In that new law He taught us to love our neighbors and our enemies. To show compassion and mercy and to live out His teachings.

To me this means that I need to show love to everyone. I may not understand the gay lifestyle, but that doesn't mean that I am going to diminish that community. They all deserve the same love, respect and RIGHTS, that every other person in this country has. You can't help who you fall in love with or are attracted to. My roommates and I aren't attracted to the same type of guys, but that doesn't mean that I am going to disregard their feelings. Some people think that Robert Pattinson is good looking, but I do not. Does that mean that person is wrong? No. We just have a difference in opinion. Does their liking of someone that I don't like mean they are below me? Absolutely not. So why do we spend so much time trying to diminish the gay community instead of embracing them. Just because their 'culture' is different from the rest of ours doesn't mean they don't have the right to the same rights as the rest of us. Do we go around denying rights to Asians or Spanish or Germans? No! So why are we doing it to the gay community?

Recently some controversy was stirred up because the popular Fox show GLEE showed two teenage GAY boys sharing a kiss. Some people on the right side of the political spectrum were outraged that this was allowed to happen. But why? It wasn't graphic or unnecessarily lewd. It was a chaste kiss that came at an appropriate time in the two boys' relationship. They only reason people seemed to have a problem with it was because it was two guys. If the kiss had happened between two of the straight characters I don't believe that anyone would have cared.

People used to look down on interracial marriages or marriages where there was a huge age gap between the pair. Now, we are looking down on same-sex couples. People say that allowing same-sex marriages is going to hinder the sanctity of marriage. Well, I think that heterosexuals are doing a fairly good job at destroying the sanctity of marriage all by ourselves. The divorce rate is higher than it has ever been, Charlie Sheen lives with a 'family' of hookers and people are still allowed to get married (drunk) in Vegas. How about we stop diluting ourselves and looking for a scapegoat. We need to take a good, long look in the mirror and see the damage that we have caused. Instead of telling these people that they don't belong, we need to embrace them and perhaps this too will pass into normalcy.

I think all this judgement and hate needs to stop. We are never going to fully understand cultures/lifestyles of those who are different than us, but I don't think we have to. I do believe however that we need to accept who we are and accept the fact that there is always going to be someone different than you. We aren't all the same, because God didn't intend for us all to be the same. That would be boring. However, we can accept the differences between us and learn to love and respect each other.

If we all could just show each other love and respect than the world would be a much better place.

I've had the time of my life... and I owe it to TWU

It's spring again, which means that the school year is drawing to a close. Once again I enter that final sprint for the finish line which is full of those final hurdles of the semester. Those final projects, presentations, and research papers that professors save for the final month of school and which are always (coincidentally) due in exactly the same week for all my classes. No matter how much I plan my semester out by making myself reading and project schedules, this phase of the semester always seems to come out of nowhere. Contrary to popular belief (read: my mother) I don't procrastinate (at least on purpose). I have been working hard to keep up in all my classes and not allow things to fall away. However, despite the fact that this may be my least heavy semester (credit-wise) in all my four years at University, this seems to be one of my hardest. I think this is in part to the fact that two of my three classes are project based classes. Projects which are both worth the majority of the grade in the course and which take quite a lot of my 'free' time.

Thinking of all I have to finish, makes me reflect on the fact that this last month will not just be an end to a semester or an end to a year, but it will be the end of something much greater. It is the end of my education (at least institutional education). In a little over a month, I will walk up on stage on front of my peers, professors, friends and family and receive my BA. This is a huge step for me, not just in the obvious way, but because I am the first in my family to do so. And while my family seemed to have the faith that I would finish, there were times that I wasn't sure. School can sometimes be a huge burden to carry, and when you are pulling hour 15 on a research paper and are running off of copious amounts of caffeine just to stay awake, you sometimes wonder if it will ever be worth it. Now that it is finally within reach however, I am glad that I pushed through all the tough times and worked hard for four years to get to this point.

This time of year is usually very reflective for me, but this year I also find myself feeling slightly melancholic. Now don't get me wrong, I am very excited about graduating from University. However, I am also quite sad to be leaving a place which in so many ways has become a part of me. For four years I have lived on this campus. It has become my home in many ways. I have made so many friends here, some of which I know will be friends I will keep for life. Two of which I call my best friends, roommates, soul-mates. We are bonded by philia and they will forever be an engrained part of who I am. I came here four years ago, knowing no one, and now as I prepare to leave this place, I know whole-heartedly that I will never regret a single moment that I have spent here. The memories (the good and the bad) are many and I have learned so much. Not just in the classroom, but outside as well, and these lessons that I have learned will continue to guide me even after I leave this campus.

In many ways, my university experience has not been extraordinary. I go to class and do homework like any other college student. I complain about my professors at time, and definitely complain about the papers or projects that I am staying up to all hours of the night to finish before they are due. However, in other ways, I know that my time at University has been special. I have gotten to know my professors well and develop relationships with them that span outside the classroom. Just this past Friday all the graduating COMM majors were invited to dinner at one of our professor's house. All the COMM profs were there and were able to share memories about the last four years, as well as talk about where we thought we were all going to do after we left TWU. The profs shared some of their memories of us, as well as shared some well-recieved advice about the 'real world'.

I feel so blessed to be able to be at this point of my life. It scares me on some levels, because there are days (and hours and minutes) where I get a stricken feeling that I am not going to be prepared enough for the trials waiting for me. And then there are other times when I know that I just have to take a breath and have faith that it will all come together in the end. God has provided for me thus far and I know he will continue to provide for me in the future. I just need to remember to take one day at a time.

Goodbye 2010 - Hello 2011

I am not much of a resolution maker or anything like that but I plan to work really harding on making 2011 a better year than 2010. Don’t get me wrong, 2010 taught me lots and I got to experience some awesome things.

I wrote and produced my very first film for my school’s film festival, and although I didn’t win any awards, and I still consider it a “work-in-progress” it felt really good to create something from scratch.

I got to participate in an awesome internship at Country Music Television and even got to help out at the CMT Awards. I lived and worked in Nashville, TN, living away from home for the first time (excluding living on campus).

I turned 21, and although I was in Nashville and away from all my friends, I still managed to celebrate my birthday in a fun way.

I was also a bridesmaid in my best friends’ wedding and got to cry through my tears as two people whom I have known since middle school exchanged their vows.

2010 also brought me some new friends, and some great experiences like the Epic Nash-Lanta Roadtrip to see Honor Society in concert on back-to-back nights in Nashville, TN and Atlanta, GA. Getting to meet and greet the Gents at both concerts and sharing a moment with Andy when he said he saw our tweet about our car breaking down in Nashville and how they would have come rescued us if they hadn’t already been in Atlanta at the time.

2010 was pretty great but I am looking ahead to 2011.

This year I plan to:

Graduate from University in April.

Go on a two and a half week roadtrip with my roommates of four years, ending our trip in Orlando to visit WWoHP in May.

Get a job.

Possibly move out of my parents house.

Start dating again.

Turn 22.

See my college best friends get married in October.

Happy New Year Friends!!

May your 2011 be AWESOME!!

Roommates can be frustrating.....

Let me preface this blog by saying that this post is going to be a rant. It will probably come across as rude and inconsiderate, but it has been pressing on my mind for WEEKS and I need to get it off my chest. I don't want to have all my anger and emotions come out if/when I confront my roommate so I need to vent it here first. I hope you don't mind.

One of my three roommates I have never lived with before. We felt bad that her roommate bailed on her, so because my other two roommates and I were to be renting a two bedroom apartment, and we all knew her because she had lived down the hall from us last year, we invited her to join us. However, it is still kinda awkward because we aren't really what you would call friends. Sure we know her well enough to live with her, but we don't really know her all that well having only really met her last year and hadn't really spent much time with her before she moved in. This causes a bit of tension between us already because we don't know each other's ticks and so on. The rest of us have lived together for three years and have therefore developed a really strong relationship and while I still notice their quirks they don't really bother me. However, the new girl, just seems to rub me the wrong way. She changes in the bathroom instead of her own bedroom, which to me is just weird and I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does because when she's in there the rest of us can't be. It's one thing if you are showering or something but otherwise you are just taking up the space. Also, we are 3 1/2 months into school at this point and I think by now she should have picked up on the rest of our routines. But no. EVERYDAY she asks what time we will be waking up the next day and who amongst us will be showering when. Really??? Why don't you just wake up when you need to for class and if someone is in the shower, just ask them through the door to hurry up because you also have to shower. We will respond to that I PROMISE. We have all shared bathrooms for four years (and in my case my entire life...three girls one bathroom growing up YIKES!)

And then there is that awkward moment when we are planning outings with our friends and we hesitate and think, should we invite her? I mean she really isn't a part of our close group of friends, yet it would be rude not to since she LIVES with us, but it really is a puzzle because we have had the same group of friends for four years and now I feel like we have this "third wheel" that we have to worry about.

It really shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but I swear I am getting really tired of her. And I know that is incredibly rude and self-centered of me. But I am tired of her constant questions and her constant asking of permission to use things that we have told her 100 times are community property.

This really is like 3 months of venting and I apologize to my readers (if I even have any). It is almost Christmas break and I will be out of this space for like three weeks. I am hoping my time away will give me space to clear my head and put all of these frustrations in perspective and I can come back in the new year with a better sense of how to deal with these problems, including talking them out with the roommate in question. We will probably have to call a roommate meeting or something, but I really do want to get this resolved. It is so draining to be frustrated with someone you live with and not doing anything about it.

It's a rollercoaster ride we're on

Yesterday was quite a rollercoaster ride. What started off as a normal work day at CMT quickly changed into an emotional rollercoaster. Some of these emotions were work related and some were personal, yet the personal ones seeped into my work. One of the first things that happened was my mom texting me to tell me that my uncle who has been in and out of the hospitals for surgeries over the past couple of months probably wouldn't make it to the end of the day. So now I have to continue through my day while carrying around this weight of apprehension. It was like a tangle of nerves, a rock, in the pit of my stomach all day, yet I had to continue my job, keeping my composure while handling my duties. Then some minor work related stress came in the afternoon after our weekly viewing of the show when I discovered that we had to switch out a bonus music video for another one, which meant I had to go back and re-write the closed captioning script to reflect the changes as well as replace the lyrics. Then I hear the news that my uncle has passed and all I want to do is cry at my desk, but how unprofessional would that be? Then literally five minutes after I have read the news on my sister's Facebook wall, my little sister is calling me to tell me that she has been accepted at my college. Which should make me very happy, but it is hard to be happy when I can still feel the lump in my throat and my eyes are still glazed with silent tears. Then my mother beeps through and I take her call, and she unleashes on her stress on me. She rants about how the money situation is going to be so tight if my sister begins to attend my school. And I know this is a concern, a big concern, but how am I supposed to do anything about it? She goes on about how she has already paid for my cousins, my aunt and my grandma to come visit next week, and now she will have to fly to Miami for my uncle's funeral. And then she will have to fly out to WA in a few weeks to move my sister into her dorm, although I could probably do that myself. I move in the same day she does, I would be more than happy to get her to where she needs to be. But I really can understand where my mom is coming from. My school is expensive, I'm not going to deny that. But my dad makes good money and if they just cut back on eating out and buying things that they don't need I think that God will provide. We just need to rely on him. Plus, with both of us out of the house, and my dad in Iraq how much money will my mother really be spending?
Although another part of me thinks that the real reason she is upset isn't the money or my sister's medical problems. I think is afraid of all of her daughters moving away. As much as she complains about my little sister still living at home, I think she likes it because then she is not alone. Maybe she doesn't want my sister to start school in the fall because then she will have to be alone while my dad is in Iraq. But I just can't carry around everyone else's emotions. It is so hard just living my own life, to have all of this other stuff thrown on me as well is sometimes more than I can handle. I am really happy that my sister has been accepted at my school, and proud that she would want to go to the same school I do. I am also glad because I will get to see her all the time, so every time something happens that I know only she can relate to, she will be right there to enjoy it with me. But I know I am the go between. My mom will be calling all the time to 'check up' on my sister and I am hoping that I can handle it. This is my senior year. My last year to hang out with my friends all the time, and do pretty much whatever we want before we have to enter the 'real world'. The world of 9-5 jobs and rent, and car payments and all that other stuff that comes with being a responsible adult. I hope that I won't die of stress before that happens.
And readers, I apologize for throwing all this onto you, but if I didn't let it out somewhere it was going to erupt inside me and I can't handle that. I could feel it building up just from yesterday. I can't imagine what another 24 hours would do. Thanks for being so patient. It is nice to be able to let this all out. LIke that breath of air after you have been under the water for too long. Wish I could meet you all in person and give you a hug. And for those of you that I do know in person, expect a hug the next time we meet face - to - face. [you know who you are.]