you see, i am in a hiking course and in this course we don't have 'class'. the prof doesn't lecture about hiking safety or anything like that (although he did give us some pointers in the one lecture class we had at the beginning of the semester). however, the way this class works is that the prof has set aside six saturdays throughout the semester and we are supposed to pick four of them that work for us and go on those four hikes.
well, i went on the first one and then for various reasons i wasn't able to go on the last two, so that left me with yesterday and the next two following saturdays. however, yesterday my alarm clock decided to be a bitch and didn't go off. so instead i woke up at 8:30 pretty much in a panic because my alarm hadn't gone off.
and let me clarify another thing for you. the bus leaves at 8 am NO EXCEPTIONS!!! so i had missed the bus. now you're probably thinking what's the big deal. just talk to the prof and tell him that your alarm didn't go off. and just let me say that i probably will do that, however, i am not seeing it going well. because you see, if you don't go on four hikes you fail the class. so if you are adding it up correctly in your head there are only two hikes left, and i have only gone on one. do you see my dilemma?
and this really sucks because now i am going to fail the course, which is going to cause my gpa to drop and could possibly ruin the chances that i am going to graduate on time because in order to get the 'f' off my transcript i will have to repeat the course. FML
so because of this one incident i have felt 'off' ever since. i can't place my finger on any other reason. it has left me frazzled and almost sick to my stomach. i have had very little appetite since yesterday and i can't shake this lethargy that i seem to have right now.
i keep trying to do homework, and i have succeeded in little doses at a time, but i just can't seem to get into a studying groove. i can work for about an hour and then i have to do something else. i can't even procrastinate properly. everything is boring to me. i just don't know what to do.
i could take a walk in the back 40, but it's dark so i would have to see if someone in my dorm has a flashlight so i wouldn't get lost. also, i would love if my parents would skype me. maybe talking with them could ease some of this anxiety/boredom or whatever it is that is causing me to feel like this.
i feel like i am stuck inside a day dream or something. everything seems to be happening in slow motion. i mean it is only 7 yet i feel like it should be 10. i am seriously running out of ideas of what to do with myself. i have already watched a movie today, and worked on two assignments that are coming up. and typing this all out isn't really helping. it is just making me feel more pathetic.
i am seriously so distracted. even concentrating on writing this blog is hard. my mind just keeps wandering to other things. and they aren't even important things. right now i am debating crawling down from my perch on the top bunk to get something to drink because i am thirsty, yet i don't want to get down just to get right back up again.
seriously, i think i need some help. this funk i am in is getting out of hand. next i won't want to get down to use the bathroom and then i will be in some serious trouble.
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