time is a funny thing....

I'm sitting on my couch, looking around at my half packed up dorm room. There are suitcases and boxes everywhere and I find myself contemplating the past school year. As I get older time seems to pass by so much more quickly than it did when I was a kid. As a kid, time seemed to pass by so slowly. You were always counting down to the weekend because there was no school and you can hand out with your friends. Plus who could forget Saturday morning cartoons. I remember getting up EARLY just so that I could watch the good cartoons. Now getting up before 10 on the weekends is like some kind of torture. Now, the weekend comes and goes in a blink of an eye and you haven't even made a dent in your list of to dos so you begin the next week already behind on whatever it is that you were working on. And remember that due date that you circled about when your term paper was due. At the beginning of the school year it seemed so far away, so you procrastinate starting the research until about two weeks before it is due and then the night before it is due comes and you stay up all night to finish. And it is like that date just snuck up on you. One day you look at your calendar and there it is staring you in the face. That circled date marking the day that 35% of your grade will be determined.
Yeah, that definitely happened to me this semester. But it wasn't just one project. Nope I had like 4 or 5 projects all due in the same 48 hour period. So I worked my ass off for about a week getting it all done, some of it early, just so I could do it all. And my film still came down to the wire. We finished editing it about 6 hours before the film festival, after spending 14 hours straight editing it. I was definitely up for about 36 hours. I slept so much the next two days after that. Now this week has been exams. And it has FLOWN by. Seriously. I've had enough time to study and write my take home exams, don't get me wrong, but now I am looking at these boxes that I have started packing and it really hit me. I am finished with another year of university. It is CRAZY!!! I still sometimes feel like I have only just begun. I can still picture myself as that scared little freshman, stepping out on her own for the first time. Yet, here I am. I just emailed my last take home exam off to my prof. I am officially done with my THIRD year of University. OH MYLANTA!!! Next year I will be in my FINAL year of university. THen I will have to go out into the real world. Find a job. Find a apartment. Find a husband (after a few years of course). This scares me a lot more than it should.
I feel like I still rely on my parents for so much. Yet next year when I graduate I will no longer be able to rely on them. I will have to forge my own path in this world. And although I know that I am 'prepared' I just don't know if I am fully ready. University has been such a great experience. I have learned a lot and made friends that I am sure I will be friends with for LIFE! But sitting here I am just thinking that at this time next year I will be leaving this chapter of my life behind. We will all be moving onto bigger and better things. And while I know that we will remain friends and remain connected....Skype anyone?..... it still makes me think. Think about how far we have come and how far we still have to go. I have known these people for three years, yet I am still learning new things about them. I have been at this university for three years, yet there are still profs I have yet to have teach me (that I want to learn from), so many experiences I have yet to experience.
Time just keeps racing by, never stopping. I have this feeling that one day I am going to wake up and find myself in my graduation gown with my whole university career behind me. I hope that when that time comes I feel fulfilled. Because right now, although I have thoroughly enjoyed my university career thus far, and the people whom I associate with there is still something missing. And I'm not sure what it is.