Sex was taboo....but not anymore.

In most religious circles, the topic of sex is taboo. People don't want to touch it with a ten-foot pole, because it seems so controversial or condemning. They just stick with the whole, save sex for marriage angle, with no room for questions.

But there is a problem, I feel, with just saying "Don't do it." God created us, and in that he made us sexual beings. That's right....GOD CREATED US TO BE SEXUAL. Now that doesn't mean that you should say, "Well God created me this way, so I can act on all my urges." That's not what I am trying to say at all. I think that we need to discuss this topic and see it from God's angle. Because he doesn't want us to feel guilty about acting on certain urges. We wants us to be able to explore that side of ourselves.

This was the topic of conversation at my church last night. Yep, the pastor PREACHED on this subject. And I took notes....In MY BIBLE. I felt that it was important enough information that it just be recorded in the notes section of my Bible which doesn't happen very often.

Pastor Simon started out with a shocking statistic: 50% of males will have sex before they are 18. 31% of that 50% are church goers. The room, which had been giggling immaturely before got pretty quiet at this statement.

Isn't that slightly shocking though? The people who supposedly take the subject of sex so seriously. The one's who have it drilled into them that sex is supposed to be a sanctity of marriage are in the majority of those who will have sex before they turn 18.

Then Simon continued with some unique and slightly cool facts. Humans are the only creatures who can have sex while looking into their partners eyes. Think about how much more intimate it is for us that any other creatures. We are truly baring everything to our partners in that moment. Our eyes have been symbolized as a window into one's soul. So how can people claim that sex is merely just a physical act when you can spend it looking into the other's 'soul'.

Another fact was that we are the only creatures who don't have to wait for a predestined time to have sex. We can do it whenever. He told us that a doe (female deer) is only in heat for 24 hours out of the entire YEAR!! What if humans were like that? What if you could only have sex for 24 hours out of the entire year? How insane is that? We have been given a gift in a sense that God did not limit us to schedules when he created our sexuality. HOWEVER, Simon pointed out that while he gave us this incredible freedom, there are limitations.

Hebrews 13:4 (The Message) states: Honor marriage and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line between casual and illicit sex.

1 Corinthinas 6:16 (The Message) states: There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical act.

God said that when a man and a women come together they become one flesh. It isn't just a momentary pleasure. When you connect in the most intimate of ways like that you give part of yourself to that other person. Why would you strip down and bear everything (physically) with a person if you have not first shared every other aspect of your life with that person? Why would you share that most secret part of yourself if the person was not committed to protecting you, cherishing you, loving you? Why do we still see sex as this simple thing? That it doesn't mean anything beyond the momentary pleasure? It means SO much more.

This is why you should save it for the person who has committed themselves to you for the rest of your life. Your spouse and life partner.

"I could be the WORST lover in the world, but I wouldn't know. I could be doing it wrong....I would hope not. But I could be. But I don't know. The only women I have ever been with is my wife. And the only guy that she has ever been with is me." - Simon Gau

To those who claim that you need to 'test-drive' before you can make an informed decision about the women (or guy) you are going to marry, Simon said this, "Girls (or Guys) are NOT CARS! You can't take them for a 'test-drive.'" He said that when you truly love someone, the sex is going to be awesome. Even though neither of you may know what you're doing. Because it is an act that signifies that you are becoming one. One flesh, one entity.

While most churches probably say to stay away from anything physical with your bf/gf Simon says that a good dating relationship needs some physical aspect to it. We SHOULD be physical with our bf/gf otherwise we are missing out on an important part of the relationship. However, there is of course a line. Because once you get to a certain point it becomes a slippery, slippery slope to going too far.

"Simon's 10 stages fo a physical relationship"

1) Flirting ( he called the vomit-inducing Jr. high stuff)

2) Hugging (starts at the awkward hug where like three people could fit between you, to the really close, front to front hug and the girl sighs....)

3) Holding hands (self explanatory)

4) Light kisses --> Simon calls this the peaches stage. Say peaches out loud and that is what the kiss is like. Quick peck. Might start out on the cheek, like you would kiss your mom, grandma, the aunt who pinches your cheeks.)

5) Heavy kissing --> Prunes stage. Again say prunes out loud. This is where there is more lip movement, making out without tongue.

6) French kissing/necking --> Alfalfa stage. Saying alfalfa involves moving your tongue. Thus, this is where the tongue comes in. This might also be the stage where the guy might start kissing your neck or behind your ear.

7) Light petting/touching --> This is ABOVE the clothes. While Simon didn't explain this one, I would assume that this is sensual touching. Not just touching/holding your bf/gf waist.

8) Heavy petting/touching --> UNDER the clothes. Simon referred to this as the Star Trek of physical touch "Going where no hand has gone before."

9) Oral Sex

10) Intercourse

According to Simon the line is above number seven. Everything above the line is acceptable before marriage, whereas everything below the line should be avoided until you are married. He also commented that in his mind 9 and 10 are combined. Sex is sex. Period.

He had a rule for guys for areas on the girls' body that is a 'no': "Don't touch anywhere that a one-piece bathing suit would cover. And not those mono-kinis. A true one-piece. Like the kind your mom or grandma would wear."

To end the sermon Simon had this to say. "Guys, your girlfriend is going to be someone's wife, and she may not be yours. Respect her future husband by respecting her. Girls, your boyfriend is going to be someone's husband and maybe not yours. Respect his future wife."

I think a good rule is don't do anything that might be awkward sharing with your gf/bf's future spouse. Make sure that you don't do anything that you would be ashamed to look into their eyes to tell them.

My friends boyfriend told her that he wants to be able to look into her husband's eyes (if they don't end up together) and tell him that while they were together he respected her and saved her for him. That they didn't do anything to compromise future relationship they both may have.

That is something that we really need to think about.

Love is FOREVER

In our society the word 'love' is thrown out so haphazardly. I love this. I love that. But how can the word have any more significance when said to a bf or gf if we use it all the time?

This is what my pastor was discussing last night at church and some of the things that he said really stuck with me. He was telling us how love isn't just a feeling. That definition of love was probably made up by 'love-struck' teenagers who couldn't keep their hormones under control. Love is not something that is supposed to be rushed, or taken for granted. Love is not supposed to be just given away and then taken back in the same breathe. How can we 'love' tacos yet also 'love' our significant other. Sure, we probably mean to say that we 'love' our bf or gf more than we love tacos, but how can we make that distinction when we use the word so generously. "Well honey I love you like I love tocos. It means I like you a whole lot right now, but you know...maybe not in like a month." Is that what love is??

Of course NOT!! This is not how love is supposed to be. It isn't supposed to be conditional. It shouldn't be "I'll love you until....you cheat on me or until we fall out of love." It should be "I'll love you until I die. I am committed to you and only you." Simon (my pastor) told us that realistically, in a dating relationship, you shouldn't say "I love you" until the next words out of your mouth are "Will you marry me?" That love is that serious. If you aren't ready or willing to marry the person you are with you should not be saying the 'l' word. Because love is not meant to be taken back. You are supposed to give it away unconditionally.

Our love should be a reflection of God's love. God's love isn't conditional. God loved us SOOOO much that he sent his ONLY son to die on the cross for us. Doesn't that show you something about love? God doesn't love us because we loved him first. He loved us while we were still rejecting him, spitting in his face. But he gave us everything he had anyway. That is how WE should love. We should pour ourselves out, even if we don't receive love in return. Now this doesn't mean that we should stand for being mistreated, but don't give your love on the CONDITION that the person loves you back. By giving your love freely, it is more likely that the other person will see your commitment and love you in return.

Simon told us the story of how he proposed to his wife. He took her on a scavenger hunt and the last stop was a park. There was a tent with white Christmas lights strung all around it. Candles on the ground. And over the backstop of the baseball field hung a sheet. He had set up a projector connected to a laptop and it was playing a slideshow of pictures that had been taken over the two years that they had been dating. Then a countdown clock came up and it was counting how many years, months, days, hours, minutes, and seconds they had been dating. Then up popped the words "What's next?"

Ashley, his wife, turned to him and said, "What is next?" Completely oblivious to everything. Then he said, "Ashley I love you." He said at those three words, she gasped and started crying because they had talked before and said that they wouldn't say "I love you" until they were ready to get married. Those three little words were SO powerful, because in that moment it was clear that Simon was committed to HER.

See how powerful LOVE can be?

Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast. It is not proud, it is not rude. It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrong. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7

Starting the New Year off with a BANG!!!!

Yesterday was one of the best days of my LIFE! It will be one of those days that I will remember for a long time. It was full of surprises, the start of new friendships, and some amazing moments.

It started off pretty average with a 5 hour work shift at Cracker Barrel where I am a hostess. But it is the events that occurred after this that made it so AMAZING!

After I got off work, my sister, her best friend and I piled into the car and began the trip to Nashville to see Nick Jonas and the Administration in concert. We jammed to some mix CD's, starting off with the Black Eyed Peas' "I've Got a Feeling" which was a perfect song for the day.

We made a side stop at a Tennessee Cracker Barrel for dinner before getting back on the road. However, because of this little (yet necessary) stop, we were behind schedule on getting to the venue. I had to speed the rest of the way to Nashville and I pulled into the parking garage next to the Ryman Auditorium at 6:45 pm. With the concert starting in 15 minutes we raced up the stairs and to the will call window to pick up the coveted tickets to the show.

At this point we were on the verge of hyperventilation. We were running on pure adrenaline, having raced up the stairs, paired with the fact that we were in the same building as Nick Jonas. It was pretty surreal. AND THEN! Then we saw where our seats were. We were in section 1 row M, which doesn't sound that amazing but it was. We were off to Nick's left and although we couldn't see the entire stage, we could always see Nick perfectly which was the important part. Plus in a venue like the Ryman, even row M seems super close.

We had basically just reached our seats when the lights went down and Diane Birch came onto the stage. She was amazing. Her voice is so pure and soulful. I could see why Nick would choose her as an opening act. She is so talented. As soon as I got home I bought her album off of iTunes. (Well actually my sister bought it....but still.) The name of the CD is Bible Belt which is interesting because at one point during her set I turned to Sarah (my sister's bff) and said that she sounded like she should be singing in a Southern Baptist church choir. That her music had that feel to it.

After her set that was a sort-of intermission while they changed the stage around for Nick's set. Some girls whom my sister had met at an Honor Society show and with whom she had been texting all day came over to our section and we chatted about the show, about the prospect of seeing Nick up close and where we could meet up afterwards to hang out. Then my phone buzzed and I had received a text from a friend who was also at the concert which read "Christa Black is here!" Just at that moment I heard some slight screams and I looked up to the balcony and saw Christa Black surrounded by a least 20 girls trying to get pictures with her. I was in awe for a moment and almost forgot that I was there to see Nick because I was so excited to see Christa. I love reading her blogs and I can't wait until her book comes out. She has been such an inspiration to me. Her faith is so strong and has been tested so much, yet she has come out such a strong and beautiful person. I was half-tempted to run up to the balcony to get a picture with her, but I didn't know how long the intermission would be or even if I would be allowed up there.

After some debate I stayed put and had a conversation with the girls in the row in front of me about Christa's blog and how much it inspires us. In the middle of our chat the lights went down and the chaos began. But it was the good kind of chaos. The kind that shows how dedicated we are to these boys who bear the last name Jonas.

Nick's show was beyond description. Even without his brothers he has such a stage presence. You can see the light in his eyes as he plays his songs. The passion for what he is doing is evident. He isn't doing it for the fame or fortune or the perks that come along with it. He is doing it for the love of the music. He gets a real joy at sharing his thoughts, opinions and feelings through the words of his songs. He even said that these songs came from his heart. He told us that he was going to "pour them out" for us.

I'm not sure which of his new songs is my favorite. He had such an eclectic set of music. I loved them all. Although I particularly loved when he used his falsetto in songs such as "State of Emergency" and "An Olive and An Arrow". I felt my knees threaten to give out several times because of his sexy voice. It should be illegal for people to be able to sing like that. He could have killed me with that voice.

I loved that he covered Stevie Wonder's "Signed, Sealed, Delivered" and was appalled that so few people knew the words. I also found it incredibly humbling that he forgot the words to "Fireflies" you would think that after messing up at the two Dallas shows he would have tried to learn the words. But I'll forgive him. His cover of "Use Somebody" came me shivers. I wouldn't say that it was necessarily better than the original, but Nick definitely added his own flair to it.

Another thing that I loved was the he re-did both "Inseparable" and "Tonight" which are two of my favorite songs. "Inseparable" is so old-school Jonas Brothers and I love that he is going to be bringing it back. It made me want to squee.

After the concert, which left me feeling breathless and possibly in the need for mouth to mouth came the next best part of my night. I was able to meet up with some girls that I only knew through the internet, but that I felt connected to for a while. We clicked immediately and we spent the night at IHOP (there was 12 of us in total) chatting about Nick J and the rest of the Jonases as well as what we like to do, where we go to school, other concerts we have been to. It was so much fun and I really didn't want to leave.

But the fun didn't end at IHOP. Two of the girls came back to the hotel that my sister, Sarah and I were staying at to hang out and when we pulled into the parking lot a tour bus was parked there. We freaked out a little but then we thought "why would Nick stay at the Comfort Inn?" While we waited in the lobby to be checked in a white town car (with really dark tinted windows) pulled up outside the lobby. It sat there for a few minutes before finally the driver came inside to check in whoever was in the car. We were leaving at this point but as we did, Britney asked if there was someone important in the car. The guy didn't answer but he sort of smirked and did a slight nod of his head. We fangirl'd when we were around the corner from the lobby, but we didn't stick around to find out who was in the car because it was really cold outside and we wanted to go to the room to get warm.

We all hung out for about two hours just chilling out. We watched some YouTube videos, looked at Nick Jonas Thinks, gossiped, read people's comments about the show on Twitter, and just had fun. It felt like we and known each other for a long time and not just a few hours. And if you know me it takes me a while before I can completely be myself with someone when I first meet them. But not last night. I just felt like I clicked with everyone and because they weren't judging me because of my love of JB it made the night so much more enjoyable because I didn't have to sensor any Jonas comments that came to mind because everyone was thinking the same thing.

The concert, the after-party, the after-after party. It was all incredible. I have the pictures and videos that prove it happened but it still feels like such a surreal experience. Like some sort of dream.

It was a night that will forever stick with me and hopefully the friendships that were forged will be able to last. I hope I can meet up and hang out with all those girls again. Ya'll are incredible!!!

Thanks for bringing us together Nick!